Emerging from the Cocoon

I know that the phrase "emerging from the cocoon" is cliche.  But this morning on my walk this is what I felt in my soul. I took a picture for my "I Will Kari You" IG account. It was the first selfie picture I have taken in weeks. It was the first time I even really wanted to think about that IG account. 

The pandemic and all things lockdown seem to be coming under control. I got my first covid vaccine yesterday. The sun is shining and the trees are blooming with beautiful white and pink flowers. My soul feels hopeful and yet also timid of how I will meld back into real life. 

This past weekend we had our first dose of "normal" when we attended my daughter's dance performance at an actual performing arts center with people and programs and end of performance flower bouquets. There was laughter and "hellos" and "it's so good to see you's"! Of course this was all done behind masks but it was a really strong start to remembering how things were and how things will be again. It was awkward. Who would have ever thought that normal life would feel so awkward. 

Although this is all positive and good and exciting and we are all ready for it and getting back to normal is necessary, this can all leave an introvert like me a bit panicky. Wait a minute. I have to emerge? How will I do this? Yes, the past year has been awkward and even for an introvert it has often felt lonely, but how will I do this? This might be hard.

This morning as I contemplated the emerging out of the cocoon theory it occurs to me that I might want to come up with a plan as to how I am going to emerge. It occurred to me that writing my way through the emergence might be a good plan. It will give me a way to process the return to life pre-pandemic and it will get me writing again.

So, I am back. I want to be back, I want this space to become sacred and a habit and peaceful and a place that matters to me.

I want to emerge from the pandemic a writer.